You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
