I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
