drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
