suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
