But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
