We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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