Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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