I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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