ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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