ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
