nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
