I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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