screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just puked most of my soul out..
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