sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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