No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
