I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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