well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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