Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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