just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
