This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize