Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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