My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize