It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
