It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
