What did we do last night that was yellow?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize