i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
