"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
True strength comes from lack of pants
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
