Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
