I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
