I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
FUCK WHALES
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
