would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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