can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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