By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
