TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I need to wash the frat house off of me
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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