quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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