I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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