these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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