Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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