Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
