Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
