Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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