Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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