i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
