new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
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Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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