just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
