I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
