What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
