my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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