I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
