Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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