some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
