no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
