I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We need to get me chipped asap
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
