This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
