I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
