Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
