it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
