My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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