just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize