She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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