He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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