he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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