VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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