I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
