she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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